The Hoppy Mailman

Create

   It has been over 6 weeks since I last brewed a beer, so we'd better get a cookin'.

   The first step is deciding what to make. For me that's a little like trying to figure out what to have for diner. Do I want shrimp, pasta, chicken, or maybe a little bit of everything. It's all up to you. I've elected to go with an English Dark Mild today, a low alcohol ale with no hop aroma and just a touch of roasted malt flavor. So many beers, so little time.

   Now I need to make a recipe. I find a lot of information in my Zymurgy magazine. But making beer is just like cooking, you can add a little here and subtract a little something there to make it your own unique creation. Every style has certain guidelines, but don't be afraid to experiment. Have fun and take lots of notes.

   To formulate my beer recipes, I use a computer program called ProMash. It figures out the alcohol content, hop bitterness, color, the amount of water that I will use, basically everything I need to know to make the beer. I'm making 6.5 gallons, with 8.75 lbs. of grain and 1 ounce of hops. Remember when I said earlier don't be afraid to experiment? Although this is an English ale with English grain and yeast, I'm putting American hops in it. I'm shooting for a 3% alcohol content, a very light beer indeed. Eighty percent of the grain I'm using is pale malt with the remaining twenty percent consisting of darker crystal and chocolate malts which you see here. I run them all through my grain mill which gently cracks them open without pulverizing them. These grains should give the beer good head retention, coloring, and just that hint of roast flavor. Notice I said should. This is why you keep notes as you might want to change something in the recipe if you happen to make it again.

   I store all of my hops in the freezer as they will lose their potency if left at room temperature. They are all in sealed bags and if I open one and don't use all the hops, I place the remainder in an air tight glass jar. You can never have to many hops. Since I am only making one addition for this session, all the hops will be placed in a hop bag and added at the beginning of the boil. Hops added at the end of the boil add aroma and that's not conducive to this style. Using the bag means I won't have to strain to get all the "leaves" out of the beer when I'm done boiling. I'll just grab it with tongs and take it out. No muss, no fuss.

   So the next time you're mixing up that special barbecue sauce or you add something to your mother's spaghetti formula, just remember that it's no different than configuring a beer recipe. Play around and have some fun with it, you just might be on to something.

   Work is the curse of the drinking classes.   -   Oscar Wilde

Floridays

   I recently returned from a trip to Florida to visit with my mother. I love that she lives down there as I got to leave -13 degree temperatures for more comfortable temps in the 80's. I much prefer wearing tee shirts and sandals to thermal underwear and jackets. 

   Marion Young is 89 years old, and for the last 20 years she has called this place home here in Port St. Lucie. It looks pretty good after a recent paint job and the carport has finally been replaced after it was ripped off by a hurricane that went through the area last year. Even her white 97 Chevy has a new coat of paint.

   My main objective, besides chewing the fat with her, was to get some repair work done. The first project was to put in a new light in over her dining room table. Had to do some re-wiring, but it was well worth the effort as she loves the way it looks. The next fun chore was to crawl under her guest room sink and repair the plunger assembly. A couple of trips to Lowe's and it's working fine. I must admit that I am most proud of this next venture. The front awning on the front on her house was also torn off in the hurricane and the support bar on the east side was never fastened together. I tried to find that little sleeve that you see in the picture at Lowe's, but failed. When we got home, I happened to look at the flowers that she has growing along side the carport, and low and behold, she had the old bent rods that were torn off by the storm holding up some of the plants. Bingo, there was my sleeve. It is much sturdier now. Since the awning was repaired, I figured I might as well trim the bushes that are under it so that it all looked nice. A couple more little outside undertakings included screwing on her old rain gage to the mailbox post and removing the old rusted hose holder and replacing it with a new modern plastic one. We should not have to worry about her having to get a tetanus shot now. 

   We went out to eat every night. It was Bob Evan's on Monday, Norris's on Tuesday, and Papa Louie's on Wednesday. Lunch was no problem as we always had leftovers from the previous night. We ate good. Evenings were mainly spent watching old shows on her new TV, and she would always end her night by treating herself to a bowl of ice cream. On our last night together, we watched a video that I made of a trip we had taken, along with my sister Karen, to New England  back in 1993. She thoroughly enjoyed the memories.

   I was originally going to take this trip over Mother's Day, but the post office messed that up when they blocked off those weeks for taking vacation because they are conducting route inspections. I love my mother. My father died when I was 13 and in an instant, our worlds were turned upside down. It was just the two of us against the world. She was without a husband and seeking employment, while I had lost my father and was trying to get through the 8th grade. At the time, I did not realize the pain she had to endure nor the problems she had to deal with. I do now, and let me just say that she was, and still is, one phenomenal lady. Everything I have in life I owe to her. I love you with all my heart dear, it was a great visit. I wish you an early Happy Mother's Day.

   Mother's in the kitchen washing out the jugs

   Sister's in the pantry bottling the suds

   Father's in the cellar mixing up the hops

   Johnny's on the front porch watching for the cops.

   -   Prohibition song  -  America (1920's)

   

 

Movie

   It was Tuesday, and the post office decided that they would make us all happy by showing us a movie that wished us a Happy Valentine's Day. It even featured an American Idol contestant who happens to be a rural letter carrier from Fort Myers, Florida. For 16 minutes we were all mesmerized by this epic feature that ended with her singing a song to her fellow carriers. This was shown during a week where 2 to 4 carriers a day are being mandated to work their days off. General consensus was that they could have used the money from making that horrid movie and hired another carrier for our office. Now THAT would have made us happy. I guess their heart was in the right place, but no brains.

   With that said, I am a lucky man. I've heard cowboys say that you've had a great life if you've been fortunate to have a good horse, a good dog, and a good woman. Now I don't like horses and with my occupation, a good dog is an oxymoron. My good woman makes up for those two and then some. She is my bride. I prefer to say that as opposed to my wife. It just sounds less possessive and more heartfelt to me. She is the most loving person that I know and it's an astonishing feeling being married to her. I love you Patty, you are my valentine for life. 

   I decided to stop drinking with creeps. I decided to drink only with friends. I've lost 30 pounds.   -   Ernest Hemingway