The Hoppy Mailman

Masters

   Spring arrives "officially" at different times for different people. For some it's Easter, while for others, it's when that first flower pops up in the garden. School age kids celebrate when they get their "Spring break", while some folks exalt in the fact that they can get the boat in the lake now that it's not frozen over. Other members of the general public link sporting events with spring, such as the start of Major League Baseball or the Daytona 500 automobile race. For me it's golf and The Masters.

   I just love this golf course. Every inch of it is meticulously manicured to perfection. The azaleas are in bloom and the Georgia pines are looming around every corner. The greens are lightning fast and it's not unusual to see someone putt the ball right off of it and into a hazard. Tiger did just that last year. Of course he also holed out an incredible chip shpt on 16 that the world will see time and time again. It is a religion with some people. Why else would they name holes 11, 12, and 13 Amen Corner?

   This club just drips with tradition. Designed by Bobby Jones, the first tourney was held at Augusta in 1934. I grew up idolizing Arnold Palmer and wasn't really happy when this young upshot from Ohio won in 1963. Jack Nicklaus would win 5 more green jackets, the most dramatic being in 1986 when he was 46 years old. I could not believe it when Larry Mize sunk a 140 foot chip shot in 1987 to beat out Greg Norman in a playoff. Ben Crenshaw's emotional win in 1995 and Phil Mickelson leaping into the air in 2004 after his birdie putt are also strong memories in my mind.

   But even without the golfers out there, the course is so beautiful, it stands by itself. Rae's creek, the Ben Hogan bridge, the Eisenhower tree, the magnolias all add to the uniqueness of this tournament. No wonder the birds love to sing there. Just listen, you'll hear them. It must be spring.

View IV

   It has been awhile since I've posted a view. Winter is pretty boring. But now it's springtime in the Rockies and that means temperatures anywhere from 80 degrees to 10. You just never know. It was around 30 when I took this shot on the right. We received 4-6 inches of some much needed snow the day before. March is our snowiest month.

   Now it's a couple of weeks later and color is starting to come back to the scenery. Today we had a high of around 60 and it was perfect to get out and do some work in the yard. I'm not sure what these little guys are, but it sure is neat to see things starting to come out of the ground. It won't be too much longer and the apple wood tree should be in bloom. I will get a picture.

   To some it's half empty, to some it's half full. To me it's time for a beer run.   -   bumper sticker

Answer

   Thought you might want the answer to the Guess blog. The BMW sold for $73,100, which was a good price. We thought it would go for more, but you just never know.

   Beer: Helping white guys dance since 1842   -   bumper sticker

A C D & F

   Anterior cervical discectomy and fusion, with plating with autograft. I mean, if you're going to have one thing done, you might as well go all the way. That's what I did one year ago today.

  I awoke the day after Martin Luther King's birthday with a stiff neck. I thought I had just slept in an awkward position, no big whoop. The next day it was still stiff, and it did not get any better over time. I could not turn left or right without it hurting at the base of my neck into my right shoulder. After a visit to the doctor, x-rays were taken and they came back negative. Some pain pills were prescribed and I continued to work for the next two weeks. The next hoop to jump through for the insurance company was two weeks of physical therapy. By this time my right arm was really hurting and I had started to lose strength in it. There just was no comfortable position for my arm to be in without feeling a throbbing pain in my neck and shoulder. After a week of that I said no more, it was making matters worse. So after pre-authorization was completed, an MRI was preformed. By this time, towards the end of February, the pain in my neck and right shoulder was so severe that I could not lie still. This meant they had to sedate me for the MRI, which meant a nurse had to be present. It's always something.

   Now that we had some pictures, it was time to see more doctors. I had now lost a significant amount of strength in my arm and concern was setting in. We went to see an orthopedic surgeon and a neurologist. They both said that surgery needed to be performed. The MRI told the story. Here were all these perfect pictures of my neck and then, all of a sudden, bam, here's this one frame with this black hole in the middle of it. That's where the disc herniated, between C6 and C7. They explained it to me as taking a jelly donut and squeezing it until the jelly starts to come out the hole. When that disc herniated, my nerves got pinched and that's what lead to the pain and loss of strength in my arm. All because I was trying to get a good nights sleep.

   All this time, life was miserable to say the least. I was on pain pills that would paralyze a horse, plus Ambien at night to try and get some sleep. It still didn't help. I drove my bride to the other bedroom because I would wake up in the middle of the night just screaming in agony. I found the most comfortable place was in the recliner, about halfway back, with a pillow on my chest to rest my arm on. This position provided about 2 hours of good sleep. I was not a happy camper.

   After some soul searching and background checks, we decided on Dr. Steve Johnson who was assisted by Dr. David Wong. As I like to say, Steve did the wiring and David did the body work. Dr. Johnson scrapped the disc out after getting through all the nerves and whatever else is in your neck, and Dr.Wong did a bone graft from the right side of my hip and screwed in the four holed titanium bracket that holds my neck in place. They even did the incision on a wrinkle line on my neck so you can't see the scar. How cool is that? These two gentleman did an awesome job and I owe my life to them. Thank you so very much.

   Surgery was around 1:30 and I awoke around 8:15 that night to the lovely sight of my bride and her sister. Less than two days later I was free. I do not like hospitals. I don't know why, I just don't. That's probably a whole other story. I was back home and happy, but still pretty dopey. For the next 3 months I had to wear this neck brace. Not much of a fashion statement, but a definite necessity. After a month, when it was determined that everything had progressed as planned, it was time for physical therapy. Health South was a 1 1/2 mile walk from our house, which was perfect. It was 3 times a week for an hour or longer session, over about a three month time period. These folks did a great job. I got the strength back in my arm and the movement back in my neck. Plus one of the therapists was a Red Sox fan. Life is good.

   I did not start back to work until the middle of July and then for only 4 hours a day. It was not until September that I started working a full 8. Everything now is superb. I've got a route where I don't have to carry mail on my shoulders, I'm pain free and although I've lost a little bit of range of motion in my neck, it's no big deal. I'm a very thankful man.

   So be careful when you go to bed tonight. They say that 80% of herniated discs are caused while you are sleeping. What do they know? Sleep tight.

   Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.   -   Bumper sticker

 

Monks

   Last Saturday night was a time of worship in the basement of the Testerman house, as Bruce hosted a meeting of the Mile High Monks brew club. It's a time for beer enthusiasts to get together and exchange ideas and thoughts about beer. Wow,what a concept!

    I would like to thank Chris Testerman for the invite and the use of his camera to take these pictures. All in all I would say that around two dozen people showed up for the meeting. This allows us to mingle about and discuss all aspects of home brewing. It's great for the novice and the experienced alike, as we get to talk directly to the people who have been there and done that. Reading a book is one thing, but being able to talk to someone is a whole different animal. Everyone shows up with their own homebrews and we compare and discuss. What type of malt did you use? What kind of hops, how much and when did you add it to the boil? Did you pitch dry or liquid yeast? Did you employ a single infusion or a step infusion mash? Were any adjuncts used? Did you toast some of the grain? Can I get this recipe? Bla, bla, bla. It sounded like a room full of hens cackling. Yes, we are a dedicated group.

   I'm sure some of you are reading this and are thinking that this just sounds like a bunch of drunks gathering to get juiced. This really was not the case at all. We are just trying to figure out how to brew better beer and this is a great way to do it. Another way we can accomplish this feat is by going to the Great American Beer Festival (left) which will be held in Denver this year on September 28-30. Last year 466 breweries competed for gold medals in 69 different categories. We had to opportunity to sample 1,672 different beers, available in one ounce shots. A lot of the time the brewmasters are there and you are able to talk with them about their creations. Very informative and a whole bunch of fun. You can find more info about this event and homebrewing at www.beertown.org.

    The bottom line is we all had a great time and that's what it's all about. As Ben Franklin said, "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy". I think everyone was pretty happy last Saturday night. Oh, and thanks for the food Bruce. That potato salad was awesome.

   Give a man a beer, he'll waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, he'll waste a lifetime.   -   bumper sticker

Guess

   Are you ready to play a little game? Let's play price the car. This car is being listed on E-bay right now. It was completely restored by my friend Bruce Testerman and his partner Jim Peterson at T's Sunrise in Englewood, Colorado. This 1973 BMW was affectionately called a "Batmobile" and is one of 39 ever made. The bidding will end this coming Sunday and I'm sure some of you will be shocked at the final selling price. Go ahead and check it out.

   It is a fair wind that blew men to the ale.   Washington Irving   -   American writer

Ten

   With apologizes to David Letterman, I would like to give you the Top Ten things that a letter carrier hears from customers over the course of their career.

#10 - Will this get post marked today?   A very good question actually, especially if it's around April 15. The answer is yes as everything I pick up is loaded on a truck and taken to Denver to be processed that evening.

#9 - Will this get to (were ever) by (when ever)?   A damn good question that I have no answer for. There are no guarantees in this business, just a general idea of when it might arrive, unless you want to send it Express Mail. At least then if it doesn't make it the next day, you get a refund.

#8 - How much will this cost to mail?   Usually they are handing me a large envelope or an over stuffed letter and moving their arm up and down while asking the question. I think they are assuming that MY arm has a scale built into it. My stock answer is, "It's been a long time since my college days". Think about it, you know, about an ounce. Anyway, I have no idea. Buy a scale, that's what I did.

#7 - All you ever bring me is junk mail.   Okay, the next time I get a check with your name on it, I'll send it back. I don't want to ruin a perfect record.

#6 - Could you wait just a second?   Most of the time they just need to put a stamp on a couple of letters, but I've had people that have not even finished typing the letter yet and expect me to wait around for them to finish. Believe it or not, we have more than just one customer to deliver to each day and we are on a schedule. You've got a pretty good idea when I arrive everyday, so have it ready.

#5 - They said they sent the check a week ago and I still haven't received it. Do you know where it is?   Yeah, it's probably still in their check book. Unless they send it Registered, Certified, Delivery Confirmation, or Express Mail, we have no idea. Very rarely does the post office lose mail. Most of the time they either haven't sent it or have a bad address on it. Always put a return address on your letters.

#4 - My goodness, how much vacation time do you get?   Not enough. I guess there are times where people think that I am always gone. Postal employees get 3 weeks vacation when first hired. That increases to 4 weeks at 5 years of service and at 15 years you get 5 weeks off.

#3 - Do you have any stamps?   No, I do not. The post office does not allow us to, as that would mean that we would have to carry money with us, thus making us more vulnerable to people wanting to take that money from us. If they would only let us carry guns. Just joking.

#2 - Don't worry, he won't bite.   Right, and grits ain't groceries, eggs ain't poultry and Mona Lisa was a man. Dog bites are a problem. We've had them come through screen doors, over fences and from under cars to attack letter carriers. I've been nailed twice early in my career. Knock on wood, that will not happen again.

And the number 1 thing we hear is...

#1 - Is it cold/hot enough for you?  I loved reading Mad magazine while I was growing up. 25 cents, still cheap. They had a section in it that gave you sarcastic comments to dumb questions. I try to think of as many as possible every time I get asked this.

   Just a little bit of, a day in the life of.

   You sit back in the darkness, nursing your beer, breathing in that ineffable aroma of the old time saloon: dark wood, spilled beer, good cigars, and ancient whiskey--the sacred incense of the drinking man.   -   Bruce Aidells  -  American writer

   

Mandated

   The following is a letter that I submitted to our local union branch newspaper.

When did it become expected that all letter carriers would work overtime? This agenda has grown to epidemic proportions at the Englewood Main office. Upwards to six carriers a day are being mandated to work their days off. This is absolutely ludicrous. We work for the post office as employees, not slaves. It’s as if they don’t realize we have spouses, children, social functions and other activities to do outside of our job. In a weird sort of way, I almost feel fortunate that I had surgery last year to repair a herniated disc in my neck. I am now restricted to 8 hour days and a 40 hour work week. I don’t have that cloud hanging over my head as to whether I’m going to be mandated to work my day off. But it still infuriates me when I go to the time clock and see a list of names of people who are being mandated. I am actually surprised that there has not been some sort of confrontation or violent act perpetrated at our station. The seed has been planted. I think this says a lot about the carriers we have at the Main. We’ve put up with this for a long time, but at what point is someone going to say, enough is enough. If management wants to keep us happy, stop showing us 10 minute videos of an American Idol wishing us a Happy Valentines Day, keep the coffee mugs and give us our days off. Get a grip indeed.

Russ Young

Englewood Main 

Create

   It has been over 6 weeks since I last brewed a beer, so we'd better get a cookin'.

   The first step is deciding what to make. For me that's a little like trying to figure out what to have for diner. Do I want shrimp, pasta, chicken, or maybe a little bit of everything. It's all up to you. I've elected to go with an English Dark Mild today, a low alcohol ale with no hop aroma and just a touch of roasted malt flavor. So many beers, so little time.

   Now I need to make a recipe. I find a lot of information in my Zymurgy magazine. But making beer is just like cooking, you can add a little here and subtract a little something there to make it your own unique creation. Every style has certain guidelines, but don't be afraid to experiment. Have fun and take lots of notes.

   To formulate my beer recipes, I use a computer program called ProMash. It figures out the alcohol content, hop bitterness, color, the amount of water that I will use, basically everything I need to know to make the beer. I'm making 6.5 gallons, with 8.75 lbs. of grain and 1 ounce of hops. Remember when I said earlier don't be afraid to experiment? Although this is an English ale with English grain and yeast, I'm putting American hops in it. I'm shooting for a 3% alcohol content, a very light beer indeed. Eighty percent of the grain I'm using is pale malt with the remaining twenty percent consisting of darker crystal and chocolate malts which you see here. I run them all through my grain mill which gently cracks them open without pulverizing them. These grains should give the beer good head retention, coloring, and just that hint of roast flavor. Notice I said should. This is why you keep notes as you might want to change something in the recipe if you happen to make it again.

   I store all of my hops in the freezer as they will lose their potency if left at room temperature. They are all in sealed bags and if I open one and don't use all the hops, I place the remainder in an air tight glass jar. You can never have to many hops. Since I am only making one addition for this session, all the hops will be placed in a hop bag and added at the beginning of the boil. Hops added at the end of the boil add aroma and that's not conducive to this style. Using the bag means I won't have to strain to get all the "leaves" out of the beer when I'm done boiling. I'll just grab it with tongs and take it out. No muss, no fuss.

   So the next time you're mixing up that special barbecue sauce or you add something to your mother's spaghetti formula, just remember that it's no different than configuring a beer recipe. Play around and have some fun with it, you just might be on to something.

   Work is the curse of the drinking classes.   -   Oscar Wilde

Floridays

   I recently returned from a trip to Florida to visit with my mother. I love that she lives down there as I got to leave -13 degree temperatures for more comfortable temps in the 80's. I much prefer wearing tee shirts and sandals to thermal underwear and jackets. 

   Marion Young is 89 years old, and for the last 20 years she has called this place home here in Port St. Lucie. It looks pretty good after a recent paint job and the carport has finally been replaced after it was ripped off by a hurricane that went through the area last year. Even her white 97 Chevy has a new coat of paint.

   My main objective, besides chewing the fat with her, was to get some repair work done. The first project was to put in a new light in over her dining room table. Had to do some re-wiring, but it was well worth the effort as she loves the way it looks. The next fun chore was to crawl under her guest room sink and repair the plunger assembly. A couple of trips to Lowe's and it's working fine. I must admit that I am most proud of this next venture. The front awning on the front on her house was also torn off in the hurricane and the support bar on the east side was never fastened together. I tried to find that little sleeve that you see in the picture at Lowe's, but failed. When we got home, I happened to look at the flowers that she has growing along side the carport, and low and behold, she had the old bent rods that were torn off by the storm holding up some of the plants. Bingo, there was my sleeve. It is much sturdier now. Since the awning was repaired, I figured I might as well trim the bushes that are under it so that it all looked nice. A couple more little outside undertakings included screwing on her old rain gage to the mailbox post and removing the old rusted hose holder and replacing it with a new modern plastic one. We should not have to worry about her having to get a tetanus shot now. 

   We went out to eat every night. It was Bob Evan's on Monday, Norris's on Tuesday, and Papa Louie's on Wednesday. Lunch was no problem as we always had leftovers from the previous night. We ate good. Evenings were mainly spent watching old shows on her new TV, and she would always end her night by treating herself to a bowl of ice cream. On our last night together, we watched a video that I made of a trip we had taken, along with my sister Karen, to New England  back in 1993. She thoroughly enjoyed the memories.

   I was originally going to take this trip over Mother's Day, but the post office messed that up when they blocked off those weeks for taking vacation because they are conducting route inspections. I love my mother. My father died when I was 13 and in an instant, our worlds were turned upside down. It was just the two of us against the world. She was without a husband and seeking employment, while I had lost my father and was trying to get through the 8th grade. At the time, I did not realize the pain she had to endure nor the problems she had to deal with. I do now, and let me just say that she was, and still is, one phenomenal lady. Everything I have in life I owe to her. I love you with all my heart dear, it was a great visit. I wish you an early Happy Mother's Day.

   Mother's in the kitchen washing out the jugs

   Sister's in the pantry bottling the suds

   Father's in the cellar mixing up the hops

   Johnny's on the front porch watching for the cops.

   -   Prohibition song  -  America (1920's)